They should never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever be super heroes. NEVER. Is that clear or should I say that again?
Dudes! Babes! Heavy Metal 'toonage!
Christmas Cheer . . . I mean Beer. Beer!
One of the running themes was that Santa Claus was the one responsible for their annual influx of cash. With Santa—and a slim one at that—was a helping of elf babes. What more could a couple of slackers want?
Turbo Lover
I must have been feeling sorry for old Fred to let him get lucky. He usually doesn't.
Rob Halford of Judas Priest had just announced—to everyone's surprise!—that he was gay. This bit of shocking news made me think about the song "Turbo Lover" from a completely new perspective, to which my anus clenched.
Rob is one of the greatest metal singers of all time.
What If?
I don't know. I think they could hang as cowboys. I don't mean that in the literal sense of them being executed for robbing trains and killin' good folk and shit, but they look cool as fuckin' cowboys.
Little to do . . .
Just a little goofiness. Fred's shirt is in reference to a Beck song. I hated that stupid song. It was a very dark time for music. Very dark. Zima dates the 'toon. And wow, a reference to the internet, which I know I didn't have at the time.
While mentally decaying before the tube
Yes! Here is the rest of this 'toon, complete with the unfinished panel. I have no idea what I was intending to put there. Obviously some mean quip about Nancy.
I really nailed their expressions. Those are two guys watching meaningless TV.
The Librarian Thing
Ah, got a little librarian fetish fantasy thing kicking. Wicked cool. This was done in the late 90's . . .
(The FRED title is a little different.)
. . . and this was as far as it got. It had some potential to get really dirty and hot. Nerdy little librarian girls reading those trashy bodice rippers on their breaks just begging for it.
The Halloween Thing that Happened.
This is as far as this idea went, that looks like Nancy. Better not open that door. Man, look at all those beer bottles! Looks like someone has a drinking problem. Might want to see someone about that. Like a bartender. I used to have an ass poster like that, bought in Okinawa. I miss that ass poster. Beautiful white fishnets. . .
Hey You! Bored?
Another story arc that died as a one pager.
Hard to read so allow me:
.
P: ". . . and so this guy's climbin' up on top of the amp and it's
rockin' back and forth. . .!"
Slut: "Uh-huh."
P: ". . .and he gets up there and BAM! The fucker falls over, ripping out the co-axes and then you know, no right channel and the crowd goes wild and pulls him off the stage and BEATS the shit out of him!"
S: "My God!"
F: "I'm gonna go throw up now."
P: "O-kay."
F: "What's this?"
Note:
HEY YOU!
BORED
Then get your ass down to
231 West St.
Down the alley
look for
"The Door."
Can't recall what that was going to be about, but it probably would have had something to do with hot babes and sex. Gee, what a pattern.
That concludes the Undated 'Toons.
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