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“The Katy Perry Thing”.  Who would have thought Katy was such a hard cookie to draw? After several pose sketches and four tries on the first panel, I got one that worked. I should have the ‘toon done tomorrow.

The Headbangers Ball Thing

It’s like I never quit drawing ‘em.

In the last panel, the girl was gonna say, “I like metalcore.” And Peckerhead was gonna say, “She really does.” Yeah, I know. Bad.

Comin' Soon!

Oh good, the ol' fingers still draw 'em.

I've played with changing the style and look of these guys, but really, there's only one: the way they were in the 90's. All pencil and pens (when I do pens), hand lettering. No Photoshop. No professional look. Pure classic.

Intro and Warning

the Selected Archives of the Finished and Unfinished 'Toons
some never before seen.
So throw on some 80's hair metal, grab a beer or fifteen, and sit back and enjoy.

This document contains ADULT MATERIAL, including profanity, sexual situations, and graphic nudity.
If these things offend you, you only have yourself to blame for continuing.
Okay, cartoon nudity, but still.

There's no real good way to organize these cartoons in chronological order. I thought I could do it by year, but the newest year is presented first. There's no Oldest First option for the body of the blog, so I have to LIE! AND DECEIVE! So I offer this key: 

September = The Undated Years
August = 1991
July = 1993
June = 1994
May = 1995
April = 1996
March = 1997
February = 1998
January = 1999

December = 2000 - 2009

Beer, music, and TV

One of the earliest surviving 'toons from the 1989 thru 1991 period.  There were many more FnP 'toons done in an Air Force logbook that have been lost, most likely thrown away. Yes.  That is a duck.  In the early Fred 'toons he had a pet duck because it was ridiculous .  I liked drawing the duck because he had no head: just eyes, a beak, and a tuft of feathers.  I phased the duck out.  They may have eaten it.

It's a Metal Thing

The Undated 'Toons throughout the 1990s.

Darlin' Nikki

Nikki wasn't a character that lasted long.

Probably because she had bad timing.

Babe Forum

I remember drawing this in the 335th breakroom.  It remained in my locker for some time before I took it home.

Superheros . . . NOT!

They should never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever be super heroes.  NEVER.  Is that clear or should I say that again?

Christmas Cheer . . . I mean Beer. Beer!

One of the running themes was that Santa Claus was the one responsible for their annual influx of cash.  With Santa—and a slim one at that—was a helping of elf babes.  What more could a couple of slackers want?

Turbo Lover

I must have been feeling sorry for old Fred to let him get lucky.  He usually doesn't.
Rob Halford of Judas Priest had just announced—to everyone's surprise!—that he was gay.  This bit of shocking news made me think about the song "Turbo Lover" from a completely new perspective, to which my anus clenched.
Rob is one of the greatest metal singers of all time.


Nuff said.

What If?

I don't know.  I think they could hang as cowboys.  I don't mean that in the literal sense of them being executed for robbing trains and killin' good folk and shit, but they look cool as fuckin' cowboys.

Little to do . . .

Just a little goofiness.  Fred's shirt is in reference to a Beck song.  I hated that stupid song.  It was a very dark time for music.  Very dark.  Zima dates the 'toon.  And wow, a reference to the internet, which I know I didn't have at the time.

While mentally decaying before the tube

Yes!  Here is the rest of this 'toon, complete with the unfinished panel.  I have no idea what I was intending to put there.  Obviously some mean quip about Nancy.

I really nailed their expressions.  Those are two guys watching meaningless TV.

Zebra striped couch.  How tacky can you get?  I wonder where they got it.

The Librarian Thing

Ah, got a little librarian fetish fantasy thing kicking.  Wicked cool.  This was done in the late 90's . . .
(The FRED title is a little different.)

. . . and this was as far as it got.  It had some potential to get really dirty and hot.  Nerdy little librarian girls reading those trashy bodice rippers on their breaks just begging for it.

The Halloween Thing that Happened.

This is as far as this idea went, that looks like Nancy.  Better not open that door.  Man, look at all those beer bottles!  Looks like someone has a drinking problem.  Might want to see someone about that.  Like a bartender.  I used to have an ass poster like that, bought in Okinawa.  I miss that ass poster.  Beautiful white fishnets. . .

Hey You! Bored?

Another story arc that died as a one pager.
Hard to read so allow me:
P: ". . . and so this guy's climbin' up on top of the amp and it's
rockin' back and forth. . .!"           
Slut: "Uh-huh."
P: ". . .and he gets up there and BAM!  The fucker falls over, ripping out the co-axes and then you know, no right channel and the crowd goes wild and pulls him off the stage and BEATS the shit out of him!"
S: "My God!"
F: "I'm gonna go throw up now."
P: "O-kay."

F: "What's this?"
Then get your ass down to
231 West St.
Down the alley
look for
"The Door."

Can't recall what that was going to be about, but it probably would have had something to do with hot babes and sex.  Gee, what a pattern.
That concludes the Undated 'Toons.