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Rock out with FnP on Pandora, on my Nashville Pussy/The Almighty station.

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“The Katy Perry Thing”.  Who would have thought Katy was such a hard cookie to draw? After several pose sketches and four tries on the first panel, I got one that worked. I should have the ‘toon done tomorrow.

The Headbangers Ball Thing

It’s like I never quit drawing ‘em.

In the last panel, the girl was gonna say, “I like metalcore.” And Peckerhead was gonna say, “She really does.” Yeah, I know. Bad.

Comin' Soon!

Oh good, the ol' fingers still draw 'em.

I've played with changing the style and look of these guys, but really, there's only one: the way they were in the 90's. All pencil and pens (when I do pens), hand lettering. No Photoshop. No professional look. Pure classic.

Intro and Warning

the Selected Archives of the Finished and Unfinished 'Toons
some never before seen.
So throw on some 80's hair metal, grab a beer or fifteen, and sit back and enjoy.

This document contains ADULT MATERIAL, including profanity, sexual situations, and graphic nudity.
If these things offend you, you only have yourself to blame for continuing.
Okay, cartoon nudity, but still.

There's no real good way to organize these cartoons in chronological order. I thought I could do it by year, but the newest year is presented first. There's no Oldest First option for the body of the blog, so I have to LIE! AND DECEIVE! So I offer this key: 

September = The Undated Years
August = 1991
July = 1993
June = 1994
May = 1995
April = 1996
March = 1997
February = 1998
January = 1999

December = 2000 - 2009

Beer, music, and TV

One of the earliest surviving 'toons from the 1989 thru 1991 period.  There were many more FnP 'toons done in an Air Force logbook that have been lost, most likely thrown away. Yes.  That is a duck.  In the early Fred 'toons he had a pet duck because it was ridiculous .  I liked drawing the duck because he had no head: just eyes, a beak, and a tuft of feathers.  I phased the duck out.  They may have eaten it.

It's a Metal Thing

The Undated 'Toons throughout the 1990s.

Darlin' Nikki

Nikki wasn't a character that lasted long.

Probably because she had bad timing.

Babe Forum

I remember drawing this in the 335th breakroom.  It remained in my locker for some time before I took it home.

Superheros . . . NOT!

They should never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever be super heroes.  NEVER.  Is that clear or should I say that again?

Christmas Cheer . . . I mean Beer. Beer!

One of the running themes was that Santa Claus was the one responsible for their annual influx of cash.  With Santa—and a slim one at that—was a helping of elf babes.  What more could a couple of slackers want?

Turbo Lover

I must have been feeling sorry for old Fred to let him get lucky.  He usually doesn't.
Rob Halford of Judas Priest had just announced—to everyone's surprise!—that he was gay.  This bit of shocking news made me think about the song "Turbo Lover" from a completely new perspective, to which my anus clenched.
Rob is one of the greatest metal singers of all time.


Nuff said.

What If?

I don't know.  I think they could hang as cowboys.  I don't mean that in the literal sense of them being executed for robbing trains and killin' good folk and shit, but they look cool as fuckin' cowboys.

Little to do . . .

Just a little goofiness.  Fred's shirt is in reference to a Beck song.  I hated that stupid song.  It was a very dark time for music.  Very dark.  Zima dates the 'toon.  And wow, a reference to the internet, which I know I didn't have at the time.

While mentally decaying before the tube

Yes!  Here is the rest of this 'toon, complete with the unfinished panel.  I have no idea what I was intending to put there.  Obviously some mean quip about Nancy.

I really nailed their expressions.  Those are two guys watching meaningless TV.

Zebra striped couch.  How tacky can you get?  I wonder where they got it.

The Librarian Thing

Ah, got a little librarian fetish fantasy thing kicking.  Wicked cool.  This was done in the late 90's . . .
(The FRED title is a little different.)

. . . and this was as far as it got.  It had some potential to get really dirty and hot.  Nerdy little librarian girls reading those trashy bodice rippers on their breaks just begging for it.

The Halloween Thing that Happened.

This is as far as this idea went, that looks like Nancy.  Better not open that door.  Man, look at all those beer bottles!  Looks like someone has a drinking problem.  Might want to see someone about that.  Like a bartender.  I used to have an ass poster like that, bought in Okinawa.  I miss that ass poster.  Beautiful white fishnets. . .

Hey You! Bored?

Another story arc that died as a one pager.
Hard to read so allow me:
P: ". . . and so this guy's climbin' up on top of the amp and it's
rockin' back and forth. . .!"           
Slut: "Uh-huh."
P: ". . .and he gets up there and BAM!  The fucker falls over, ripping out the co-axes and then you know, no right channel and the crowd goes wild and pulls him off the stage and BEATS the shit out of him!"
S: "My God!"
F: "I'm gonna go throw up now."
P: "O-kay."

F: "What's this?"
Then get your ass down to
231 West St.
Down the alley
look for
"The Door."

Can't recall what that was going to be about, but it probably would have had something to do with hot babes and sex.  Gee, what a pattern.
That concludes the Undated 'Toons.


I don't know if I wasn't drawing a lot of FnP, but 1991 doesn't have a lot of surviving 'toons.  Hell most of that year was spent in Saudi Arabia.

I swear these guys are nuts.  Turning their tub into a piss trough.  Did I ever do that?

Boredom Blues

This was done in SWA.  I remember the stationary.  One of the few times I've drawn Fred with a cigarette. And he has a tattoo, that must have washed off because I never drew it again. The things you get in cereal boxes.

By now you're probably wondering what the deal is with Peckerhead.  What's up with his name?  And what the hell is that on his hat?
Peckerhead was inspired by my trip to the Philippines in 1989.  The character was going to be a woodpecker in a 'toon of animal characters that explored his exploits in and around Angles City.  I realized that I didn't give two good shits about drawing fucking animals and turned the character into a friend of Fred's.  The woodpecker motive was carried over as a design on his hat.  It's really meaningless beyond its genesis.  One running back story had Peckerhead meeting Fred in high school where he was nerd who liked to bird watch.  Being picked on, he admired Fred's rebellious give-a-shit-less antisocial attitude and started listening to metal and growing his hair out.  Sounds like a nice story, but it's not written in stone.
Both characters' past remain a blank page.

BREW-HA The Beer with Balls

Gee, that guy looks uncannily like Scott Vancel.  How'd that happen?  How prescient I was back in the day.
Not exactly an FnP 'toon, but this one and the next where included in a mini-graphic novella that I created in the Gulf War called "The Great American Babe Collection."  That long 'toon is probably in a box mingling with an assortment of other drawings.  I know I have the pages so if I find them I'll add 'em to this document.

I can't lay claim to the name Brew-Ha.  I had heard someone else refer to beer as that.  It's a fitting name as brew often leads to brouhahas.

And hey kids, Brew-Ha now comes in ex-oil tankers for your beach party.  Drink up.  But save your shinny pennies for a new liver.

And can you believe the innuendo with the foaming beer bottle and pool balls?  Sick.

Aim High

A recruiting poster you would never actually see for its startling truth.

Speaks for itself.

Brew-Ha. It's as good as it lasts.

This was drawn on a large sheet of paper in a pad I bought from an art shop in a mall in Riyadh.  That place had everything.
Jeff "Z-man" Zastawny suggested the neighborhood kids.  Hell, he and Andre where practically Fred 'n' Peckerhead, but with shorter, darker hair, and a dislike for sharing women.  Well, one of them didn't have a problem with that.  And thus ended a friendship.
I almost dated Linda before Z-man, but I didn't fuck her one night when she got hot and heavy on me—I didn't want to explain the outbreak of psoriasis in that area (a problem that kept that rascal put away).  So she said I had an emotional problem (which I did) and didn't want anything to do me.
So I proved her correct by mixing a tape of "wounded animal" "fuck you bitch" songs on a real shitty cassette.  She liked it until she figured it out. hehe.

I think they ate that dog too.  Not Z-man and Andre, Fred 'n' Peckerhead.

And so ends 1991.

1993 . . . and the Great Kat

Let's start 1993 off with the Great Kat—whose awesome speed metal is not on Pandora Radio (the bitches!).
I have no idea what happened to 1992, maybe some of the undated 'toons are from that year, but 1993 was a busy year for the dudes.
We meet Nancy Lovejoy, and are treated to "Toppless (sic) Pizza Delivery".  Plus there were sketchbook 'toons that didn't get circulated around the AMU, so maybe you'll see something new.

Ah, the Great Kat.  You know, I've been a bad boy and need to be punished.
I'll leave it at that.

 Of course, "Toppless Pizza Delivery" is its own page, because it is just so awesome. 

The Great Kat Thing that Happened

These two parts exist on the same page.  I have no idea where I was going with the story.  The idea to fool around with Kat—ahem, the Great Kat—was fun in itself.

 Got that far, and ran out of steam.  Like a great many projects throughout the 1990s, I had a lot of good starts before getting bored and never finishing.  Well at least I got to draw the Great Kat in her gear, as if I couldn't draw her anytime I wanted.  But given the size of her pictures on her website, I have no need to.


Ah Metallica.  One of my all time favorite bands even though I didn't support their lavish lifestyles on a few releases over the last several years.  Death Magnetic is pretty damned good though.  This was at the time when James got burned from pyros when they were on tour with Guns 'n Roses. Shakey the Pyrotechnician.  When is that a good idea?

I officially changed Peckerhead's name from Wallace Smith to Woodrow Peckowski.  You know, to keep with the whole woodpecker, Peckerhead thing that I got going on and shit.

Although I write "Metallica used without permission. Sue me.",  it must be understood that this was way before Napster.  I do not want to get sued.  But hey, they are in a fucking Fred 'n' and Peckerhead 'toon so they should be happy.  I'd gladly give them a photocopy.

CAUTION:  The next 'toon is extremely pornographic and may make you hard.

in "The Bitchin' Mariah Cary Thing They Got Goin' On"

Hey, she was hot back in the day.  Who didn't stroke to that ?

As interactive as the 'toon was, no one decided.  My fans, I swear.
Rhonda Shear.  My god.  She must be a cougar's cougar by now.
Not to worry.  I promise not to draw Mariah Carey or Rhonda Shear as they are today getting fucked by FnP.

I can't recall exactly where I had first seen Rhonda Shear.

Day at the Beach

I don't have to explain this do I?


I do believe this is the genesis of Nancy Lovejoy.  If I created her prior to this, that 'toon is gone.  We have a remark about Zima, an alcoholic beverage which was hyped the fuck up and turned out to be clear lemonade or some such.  And I had ideas of FnP being in a band called PAIN, which went absolutely nowhere.
I wonder?  Did my drinking have anything to do with not following through?

Nancy Lovejoy

She just walked by him, saw him, and yanked his ass out of the chair.  Isn't that how we all want to meet women?
Volumes could be written about Nancy, but I prefer to draw her.  If you are thinking Sid (Vicious) and Nancy, you're on the money.  If you don't know who Sid Vicious was, we don't live on the same plane of reality.

From here on, there is sort of a complete Fred and Nancy arc.
Sort of. . .

CAUTION: Another highly graphic bit of pornography follows.  As well it should.

Hey! HEY! Down here.  You done you dirty bastard?
 This 'toon sets a precedent and tone for their relationship.

I don't think "passive" is the right word I was looking for.  "Too big of a pussy" is what I was thinking.  Passive is what a dominatrix wants, at least that is what I've gleaned from the pictures I've found.

There's nothing like a man curled up on the filthy, piss smelling floor of a bar's men's room laughing his ass off.

It is something I hope I never, ever fucking see.
And I have to apologize for the following.  Be warned.

This is, in no way shape or form, or in any culture except maybe the Middle East, funny.  If you so much as snicker, you are a sick fuck who needs help, or his ass kicked by a mob of enraged bikers.


I have no idea what brought this on.  Maybe frustrations with the 1st wife, I don't know.

This 'toon was actually confiscated with a sketchbook of other art from the 335th breakroom table by MSgt. White.  MSgt. Purser pulled my ass out the fire on that on.  On hindsight, maybe he should have let me burn.  Would have taught me a lesson.  But God protects fools and I sure was a fool.

I would have omitted this piece of shit but it would have left next 'toon without context.

Besides, it's really just Hollywood magic.  Nancy wasn't harmed in any way.  That's fake blood and a foam bottle.  Scout' honor.  Honest Injun.

And here the Nancy arc sort of ends.  Okay, yeah, you had a good part.  Doing what? I don't fuckin' know.

"Basement of My Soul"

Oo. Spooky song there Fred. Why do you not cut the excess string from the tuning posts you dork?  What kind of little dick microphone is that?

I must admit, that's some pretty damn good artwork on those fishnets.  They are difficult to draw without a picture, or God forbid, an actual model.  I guess I could just buy a pair for myself and pose in the mirror, but I don't think anyone coming across that chance discovery would understand my dedication to draw perfectly each strand as they curve along the shape of the legs.  It has to be right.

Roxanna and Savannah

And you know what?  I've never seen a Savannah porn flick.  I do know that she is no longer alive.  I didn't do a lot of colored 'toons.  Only this one, another, and the mentioned "The Great American Babe Collection Part II", which is nothing but porn and will not be included in this archive.  It deserves its own document, and its several pages long.  Another request for reader participation that was never answered.

While Standing in Line for a Beer

 This appears to be the beginning of more serial style stories that really never took off.  I had a lot of ideas and no patience to draw them all out.  There was no continuation of this arc.  The Great American Babe Collection: II followed this.

The Sharon and Cindy Thing that Didn't Work Out

This one obviously got marred, from an old battery I think given the brown color of the stains.  The drawing on these are a poor as if I were in a rush to get it done.  This one's a yawner.

She's Back!

As was alluded to in the above Roxanna and Savannah 'toon, Nancy returns to kick ass.  Every one's ass.
The obvious fuck up on my part is that she is riding a motorcycle—or a scoot as they like to call 'em—while wearing a miniskirt and fishnets.  I don't see this as being realistic attire, but I wasn't thinking about shit like that when I drew this.  As if she wouldn't look hot in a pair of tight leather pants.
Excuse me. I've  got to get a pencil.  I'll be right back . . .

Man, is Peckerhead annoyed or what?
Uh, no.  The questions won't be answered.  Sorry.